Huis Clos

Sorry for the obscure French reference. Huis Clos is a book by Jean-Paul Sartre that translates to No Exit. This was a book I read in high school. I chose this title because I was thinking that sometimes with CML there is no escape. That is not necessarily a bad thing, but there have been a number of circumstances when CML and/or cancer has come up in unexpected ways. Most of the time I don't think about CML and even forget that I have it, but it has a way of sneaking up on me.

A few weeks ago, I was at a weeklong workshop on the treatment of ADHD. The speaker made numerous references to medication treatment for ADHD and how it is going to target the genetic markers similar to the way cancer treatments, like CML now do. CML was the last thing I was expecting to be thinking about during the workshop.

A couple of times over the last few weeks, I have been referred to as ill or sick. It is funny because I never think of myself as sick or ill. This may be denial, but since I never felt sick, to me CML is a condition that I am working hard to control and not a sickness that is threatening me. This may be a naive view, but I think of CML as a part of my life that I deal with like any other stressor I might encounter. Since it often equated to diabetes treatment as a chronic condition, I don't really see myself as a sick or an ill individual. That is why I kind of struggle when people ask me how I am feeling. I am fine and have never felt sick. It is just a natural question for people to ask when they assume you are sick.

In other CML news, our Light the Night team has raised around $13,000 so far for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. I am incredibly impressed and humbled by people's generosity.