Undetectable

I just received my latest PCR test results and they came back as undetectable. My scores had been very low (in this game low scores is a good thing). This was the first time, however, that the scores were so low that they could not even be detected or calculated. PCRU is the jargon game given to this level of remission. It is scary to even say that, but complete molecular remission has been achieved.

As a high achiever, I am obviously pleased to receive such great news. The only problem is I can't go any higher. I have plateaued. I guess I can focus on other challenges now.

Cancerversary

To borrow a phrase from Erin Zammett Ruddy, today is my 3rd Cancerversary. It was three years ago this evening when I received that fateful call from the doctor. "I just got your blood work back. You white count is extremely high. I think you might have leukemia and need to go to the hospital right now." So much for the dinner I had brought home. That is where this journey began.

Three years later, I have a very different perspective from those early days of the unknown. Yes, I still worry about my PCR test values coming back the way they should. In fact, I am waiting on one right now. The main difference is that I do not focus on CML on a daily basis. There are many days when I do not think of it at all. I feel some distance between myself and the devastating potential of this disease. Let's hope it remains that way.

As for the Cancerversary, I am not sure if it is a day to celebrate or to mourn. Regardless, I think it is worth acknowledging that this was an important day in my life and one I will never forget.